I never really grasped what Descartes meant by that phrase (still don’t even after looking it up again just now) but yesterday, while listening to a guided meditation that used the phrase, I had a lightbulb moment to apply it in a way I’d never thought about…
💡 ”What I think becomes what I am.” 💡
It’s a companion to, “If you think you can, you can; if you think you can’t, you can’t.”
Because your brain has a huge influence on your experience. And when you let those negative thoughts run loose in there, that’s exactly what your experience is…negative.
Let’s say for example (since it’s the holiday season🎄), that you decide to attend a party or family gathering where you feel like some of the other expected guests don’t see you as measuring up. (Why you feel inferior is another post – just go with the premise for now.) Because you go in with this belief, as soon as you encounter these guests your brain jumps to some form of “I’m not good enough,” and whether you consciously acknowledge the thought or not, this brings your mood down a notch. Your brain is then on hyper-alert for signs that corroborate this belief (further cementing the idea in your head)…maybe an innocent question that you take as a pointed one to show up your flaws, or a joke that hits home and isn’t funny to you….or even something as small as a misinterpreted “stink eye”. Whatever it is, your mood continues to sink and you wind up experiencing something that should be a fun event as something that decidedly isn’t.
🗝️ But here’s the key: CHANGE the THOUGHT to change the EMOTION to change the EXPERIENCE.
🤔 How do you change the thought❓ You can’t prevent it from popping into your brain, but what you can do is pay attention and catch it when it arrives.
💗Then tell yourself to stop. Ten times, a hundred times,whatever it takes to stop it from milling around in there taking both your attention and your energy.
💗Be Scarlet O’Hara and tell yourself you’ll “think about it tomorrow,” if that helps. (And yes, at some point you should examine why you are feeling inferior to begin with…but it doesn’t have to be during a party!)
💗Make the effort to redirect your thoughts to something positive. (Redirection works with kids and with brains!)
Just the other day while I was out enjoying a walk, I passed something on the way that out of the blue triggered a memory from long ago of something stupid I had done. Immediately I felt my mood drop but instead of ruminating on it, I thought, “Oh man, I am not going there now! Focus on the trees, focus on the beautiful sky…find something…” I’d like to thank the very loud flock (or murder, to be precise) of crows that squawked by at that very moment and sufficiently distracted me so I could carry on with enjoying the walk and the beautiful day.
It takes practice, but it does get easier. And it pays off.
There’s more to this subject, getting negative thinking under control, releasing limiting beliefs and facing whatever negatively triggers your brain, but this is a good starting point. Get your brain to have your back.
Now go out there and think positive, be happier!
